Golden bulging eyes
Shay: Guy, can you help. One of Richards goldfishes eyes are popping out of its head!
Me, via the web: Pop-eye Symptoms: Fish’s eyes stick out unusually It is important to realize that some varieties of goldfish have eyes which naturally protrude, like the Moor, the Celestial, and the Water Bubble Eye. If your fish is a juvenile, it is possible that its eyes are developing into their adult configuration, perhaps to your surprise. (Sometimes, a fish will not develop telescopic eyes until it is two years of age). Pop-eye, however, is a condition which causes a fish’s eyes to protrude away from the fish’s head in an unusual way. Pop-eye is usually caused by septicemia or tuberculosis. Remedy: The first thing to do is to contact your vet or petstore for further instruction. In the meanwhile, placing the afflicted fish into a quarantine tank
Shay: “Huston we have a problem…..” Thanks Guy!
Richard: This does not sound good! Thanks for looking at this Guy! It may well be freezer time!
Me: You cannot be serious! You need to care for your fish, you and Seamus will need to take shifts across 24 hours a day to tend to your fishes every need. I should install a little bell so he can let you know when to make him more soup.
Richard: good in principal but Seamus is not coming back to flat until Friday – that would put too much pressure on me to do 24 hr shifts – not sure it’s worth it!
Me: Then you must get NHS help. They might be able to send a carer around. I’d get in touch. I’m assuming your fish doesn’t have a BUPA policy?
Richard: I stopped paying his policy last month – doh!!!
Me: ..oh, and humans can catch it too – from the fish, so wear rubber gloves when handling!
Shay: I’ve never touched them, Ricardo is fucked!
Me: Well, nothing can save him now. He will need to be quarantined too. You might want to purchase a dust mask and lab coat this lunchtime.
Shay: I’m not gonna be home for the next few days, hopefully when I get back Richard hasn’t turned into a flesh eating zombie or anything….